I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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