Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
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Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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