I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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