I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize