u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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