I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
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A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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