They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
