so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
