I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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