We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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