She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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