No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
