I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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