i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
