For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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