just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
