DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
