fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
