She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
