i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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