well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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