I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
