Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
