he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
