Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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