i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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