What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
