New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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