I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm way too hungover for life right now
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
