Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
