But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
