I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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