So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
