why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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