would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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