So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
