This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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