Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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