im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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