I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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