Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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