So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
