im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
