cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
