well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
