remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
