i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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