I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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