Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
