I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
