We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
