So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I had to cum in my sink.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
