That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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