Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
