watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
