Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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