Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
