This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I would ride that face into the sunset
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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