get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
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you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
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In other news, I just burned my penis
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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