i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
