Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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