it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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