ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Actions speak louder than pants.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.