morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.