I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
