Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized