I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.