Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
