Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.

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  (203): Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle. http://tfl.nu/zfv7
  Replies (7) Good night (2645) Bad night (598)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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  (304): please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker http://tfl.nu/hr9i
  Replies (15) Good night (1315) Bad night (4228)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward

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  (936): So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward http://tfl.nu/gsii
  Replies (37) Good night (976) Bad night (5913)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

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  (603): No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class. http://tfl.nu/tnda
  Replies (28) Good night (4301) Bad night (888)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.

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  (910): I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome. http://tfl.nu/9kjh
  Replies (27) Good night (10049) Bad night (902)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project

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  (440): i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project http://tfl.nu/w3av
  Replies (12) Good night (4445) Bad night (1076)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."

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  (414): I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong." http://tfl.nu/mk9e
  Replies (9) Good night (2107) Bad night (1586)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever

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  (508): holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever http://tfl.nu/v6ie
  Replies (12) Good night (1523) Bad night (568)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.

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  (815): You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever. http://tfl.nu/5xks
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (918)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.

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  (734): You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them. http://tfl.nu/p5zk
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (686)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.

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  (412): Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face. http://tfl.nu/ja8q
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (525)
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  (619): View more from California

  I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.

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  (619): I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain. http://tfl.nu/lmb6
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (623)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!

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  (816): Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away! http://tfl.nu/774o
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (375)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder

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  (651): Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder http://tfl.nu/3wmb
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (274)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth

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  (512): Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth http://tfl.nu/x9g8
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (166)

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