why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
