maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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