Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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