we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
