i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
