sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
