who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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