My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
