I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you had me at cake vodka
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
