can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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