? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
